Led astray by a legend

Posted on March 2, 2008 by scottthedot

Orlando has a lot of attractions but tonight we stumbled across a very well hidden one.
We had decided to go and see Arabian Nights which is a dinner show involving horses and arabs. Dinner was OK, the horses were great but sadly it turns out Claire got some kind of allergic reaction to either the vast quantities of dry ice or the horses themselves. Her throat was closing up and she was finding it difficult to breathe. We stepped out and flagged down a taxi.
The driver was a big woman who heard Claire struggling with her breath and offered to relax her with hypnosis, whilst she drove us home. As she was telling Claire to imagine herself on a beach, she was also taking a horrendous wrong turn. She agreed to switch off the meter as it was plain she was quite lost. We got talking and she announced that quite casually that she used to be a Pro wrestler.
‘Excuse me?’
‘Yeah I was a pro wrestler for 25 years..look here’s my belt.’
‘ From the front of the car she showed us a genuine WWF belt with 5 insignias each denoting 5 years. Her wrestling name was Matilda the Hun and she worked with Jackie Stallone and Hulk Hogan played bass in her band. She is also godmother to Brooke Hogan and she was desperately trying to drive us home.
Matilda may not be the best taxi driver in the world but we have booked her again for tomorrow night and this time she has promised to pose for a photo with us AND the belt. I hope she isn’t wearing the spandex..for all your sakes.
Stuff like this happens to me all the time.

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3 Responses to “Led astray by a legend”

  1. JoKaLew, on March 2nd, 2008 at 11:40 am Said:

    I bet no one’s ever tried to scam her taxi fares

  2. The Boring Bit « Nothing going on but the rent, on March 4th, 2008 at 2:24 am Said:

    [...] Led astray by a legend [...]

  3. Mark Sullivan, on March 4th, 2008 at 1:16 pm Said:

    It is so funny that you have written this. As a matter of fact, I was doing a google search on Matilda the Hun. That’s how I came across this blog. Matilda was my taxi driver to Pleasure Island on Friday night, March 1st. And I guess I got the same impression that you got. I saw the belt on her dash and asked her if she was a wrestling “fan.” Never did I imagine that she was actually a wrestler.

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