New Orleans residents have been forced to evacuate the city after the news that President Bush is to forego his appearance at the Republican Convention in order to ‘help the city of New Orleans face the hurricane.’
Hordes of city-dwellers immediately ran out of their homes and headed for the hills on hearing the news. “Last time he helped by ignoring us entirely. Why is he so keen this time?” said one scared resident.
Bush has revealed his rescue plans including umbrellas for every citizen, balloons for the kids and warrantless wiretaps for every household in the region.
Bush described Hurricane Gustav as ‘foreign sounding, like a terrorist.’
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Americans don’t say ‘keen’
It’s not just Americans that live in New Orleans. It just so happens the one in this interview was originally from Britain and moved there due to his love of Jazz. He is also entirely fictional.
With friends like Bush, who needs enemas?
I just want to know what word American’s use instead of ‘keen’?
I mean if I was keen to know something but didn’t have the word ‘keen’ in my available vocabulary what would I use as an alternative? I’m lost. How about ‘anxious’ – ie I am anxious to find something out. But why get all wound up about it? I might just be keen to know the result of my local team’s football* match but am not going to stress about it and get my blood pressure up. How many more perfectly normal and very useful words do our friends across the pond choose to neglect? Why do they say to the world that they speak ‘English’ when quite clearly they don’t – or only the bits they choose to. Personally I choose not to say words like ‘ y’all ‘ or ‘muthafucka’ – words that if I’m led to believe is true are not and were never in any dictionary yet our good friends tend to incorporate into everyday language. “Listen up y’all” and “I’m gonna kick your muthafucka’n butt to the curb” etc etc.
Answers on a postcard.
*To all Amercians reading this – please substitute ‘football’ with ’soccer’.
Very eloquent Andy, however the gentleman that made that comment is my internet stalker and he takes EVERYTHING very seriously. He is overly keen.
Not all Americans say y’all, that’s something that’s more or less specific to the southeast of the country.
As for keen, the word exists in America, it just isn’t used like it is in the UK. No one is keen to know the result of the football or soccer match. It’s instead words like ‘interested.’ I’m interested to know the result, or I want to know the result. But rarely in America are you keen on something. It’s just a word, or really a way of using it, that has slowly disappeared from the colloquial here.
And no one’s blood pressure is rising about the word keen. I was just pointing out if you want to make spoof news about America, at least make it sound like it actually happened in America. I wouldn’t say five people were stuck in an elevator if I were making up a story about England, I’d say they were on the lift. Wearing a jumper. Or grabbing a spare tire from the boot.
And as if by magic …
Oops – sorry Scott – am I stirring up a hornets nest here. I think that with this being a ’spoof’ and therefore not to be taken too seriously then it probably isn’t worth commenting on something so menial. If a journalist from this country was writing an article about such a situation for his/her own countrymen he/she would more than likely change the wording to something that perhaps better suits his/her audience – this is called editing, para-phrasing etc – so as far as I can see that would be completely irrelevant. If your example story was to describe an incident in England that you were relating to all your fellow American’s I’m pretty darn sure you would be describing it as an elevator and NOT a lift. With or without a jumper!?
Oh – and it we are being extra picky it would be a spare ‘tyre’.